i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
