I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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