our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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