I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize