She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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