I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I think I have vodka in my lungs
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I would fuck him just for his dog
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