Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize
