her vagine was all disorganized.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Randomize
