Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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