That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
