Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
