She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
