well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Reggie can tackle my bush.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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