I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
