I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize