just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Randomize
