You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
