So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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