1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
