Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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