Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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