anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
