And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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