Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Tornado booty call.. dedication
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
