Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
