I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
