Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Randomize
