put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
