it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
