i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
it hurts more in the daytime
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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