Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
