i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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