What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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