At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
