3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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