After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
