as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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