it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
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