I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
