This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
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