I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
