1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
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