Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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