Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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