ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
