I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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