Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
