Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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