Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
