So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
whose parrot is this?
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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