I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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