I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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