well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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