Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
what day is it and did you see me today?
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
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