handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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