I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
