why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
you never un-have a 4some
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Randomize
