I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Randomize
