she sounds like chewbacca in bed
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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