pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
