Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Even my vagina gasped.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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