What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
