I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
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