Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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