what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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